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The first movement of life is the rhythmical expanding and condensing of the fertilised cell as it absorbs energy and nourishment, and releases wastes. The rhythmical movement of expansion and condension, filling and emptying, underlies the basic pulse of life; the beating of the heart, the pumping of lungs, cycles of activity and rest in daily life, of giving and receiving in relationships, of bringing to birth and letting go in death, all reflect this fundamental pulsation between moving out and moving inwards, and health and sickness depend upon it. If we block the natural cycling of energy, trying to hold to one arc or the other, imbalance is created and somewhere in the bodymind the seeds of disease are planted. In my practice of Authentic Movement, a discipline which has roots in dance movement therapy, Jungian psychology, and mystical practice, I found myself exploring over many months and years a gesture of opening, reaching out. I discovered many aspects to this gesture; I could reach in longing or fear, reach to touch with tenderness, to hold onto in need; I could reach out to offer, to give; I could reach out to surrender and receive. The movement stories evolved over a long period of time until there was a moment when I simply stood, hand held out in front of me with upturned palm, simultaneously offering and receiving. How simple, yet how complex it actually is to allow ourselves to offer and receive freely. The web of conditioning, prohibition, rejection and punishment, which interweaves throughout our formative years, forms a veil obscuring this free exchange of energy. Interruptions of our basic impulses to open out to the world and move back in towards ourselves will be reflected in the body as patterns of muscular or organic tension, weakness, or flaccidity; in cardiovascular, respiratory and digestive cycles, sexual function and the immune response; and in the quality of holding, permeability, rigidity and responsiveness at the cellular membranes. Physiologically this balance is regulated through the autonomic nervous system, with the parasympathetic branch stimulating internal processes of digestion, rest and recuperation, and the sympathetic branch enabling us to attend outwardly to challenges, goals and potential threats. Within the psyche an intrinsic need to periodically turn inwards for renewal and deepened connection to self, then outwards for self-expression and growth, also regulates cycles of inward and outward focus. Keleman writes: ‘If you want to know yourself, slow down. Stop what you are doing. But if you want to grow, if you want to form yourself, you must actively express yourself.’ (Keleman 1975: 124) As the embryo and fetus develops, various functions evolve which mediate cycles of inward and outward flow. The nervous system begins to develop at an early age, but only as nerves myelinate (are covered in a fatty insulating sheath) can they function with precision and efficiency. Motor nerves, which travel from the inner core of brain and spinal cord to the body peripheries, myelinate before sensory nerves, which complete the cycle by returning from periphery to centre. First I move, I express myself, then I receive sensory information about that movement, and thus I come to know myself (Cohen 1993: 118). I also come to know the world as I touch, taste, bump into, fall against its surfaces: ‘We can never touch just one thing; we always touch two at the same instant, an object and ourselves, and it is in the simultaneous interplay between these two contiguities that the internal sense of self is encountered ..... By rubbing up against the world I define myself to myself.’ (Juhan 1987: 34) This is how the fetus and infant begins to learn about self, other, and the interplay between them. Through this play she lays a foundation for the way she will balance movements out into the world with returns to centre, to self and self-knowing. A number of specific movement responses, primitive reflexes, are also developing; a specific stimulus will, if the infant is in a receptive mood, elicit a specific response. Primitive reflexes mediate movement towards or away from the stimulus; these movements underlie bonding and defence, both of which are essential for the infant’s survival and offer a neurophysiological basis for the way she will learn to negotiate her relationship to others and to life (Hartley 2004: 110). Cohen describes movement as a sensation, and movement and touch as the first senses to develop (Cohen 1993: 114). They form the foundation for growth, learning and engagement with the world. From the earliest days of life in the womb experiences are imprinted within the fetus’ developing nervous system from self-generated movement, the sensations this creates, and information coming to the fetus from outside; this process continues throughout infancy and indeed throughout the whole of life. This information colours the sensory-motor patterning that is being laid down in the developing neuromuscular system, and will affect how the infant births herself, how she feeds, bonds, learns to crawl, to reach out, how she plays and socialises. It will be reflected in the movement patterns that emerge and the postural attitudes these patterns coalesce into. Layers of experience will accumulate upon early learning processes which begin in the womb, and all areas of development - emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual - will be supported or influenced by underlying cycles of sensory-perceptual-motor response, the inward and outward flow of energy, information and desire. Movement and Touch in Psychotherapy Because the process of early learning and psychological development is so intrinsically embedded within somatic process, the use of touch and movement in psychotherapy can offer a potent entry into the realms of perinatal and preverbal experience; here the early roots of disturbances can be explored. I draw upon the theory and practice of Body-Mind CenteringR, an approach to somatic movement therapy developed by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen (Cohen 1993; Hartley 1995); and Authentic Movement, originated by Mary Starks Whitehouse and further developed by Janet Adler, Joan Chodorow and others (Pallaro 1999; Adler 2002; Chodorow 1991). Both of these approaches invite dialogue between consciousness and the unconscious through movement, body awareness, touch and dialogue. Creative expression through dance, artwork, writing and voice may also be used to integrate into consciousness experiences accessed through the body. The process of giving language to somatic experience reflects the development of the sense of a verbal self. As the infant begins to master language, some areas of experience become difficult to communicate. They may be experienced as threatening or unacceptable, and become relegated to the shadows, forming the private or disavowed self (Stern 1985: 228). Through bringing into creative form and language the experiences encountered in movement and bodywork, we can begin to heal the rift created between ‘interpersonal experience as it is lived and as it is verbally represented’. (Stern 1985: 162) But first let us return to the beginning, to preverbal and perinatal processes, and to birth itself. Infant Movement Development The process of infant movement development is a foundation of Body-Mind Centering practice. During development the fetus and infant embodies a series of movement patterns inherent within the human nervous system; they reflect the evolution of sentient life from single-celled amoebae to humankind with our complex bipedal locomotion. Embodying and clarifying these movement patterns, with a therapist’s guidance and support, can help both child and adult to achieve greater strength, coordination and gracefulness in their movement, and posture can be improved; positive changes are also witnessed at other levels of functioning as neurological pathways are reorganised. Mills and Cohen describe developmental movement therapy with children whose emotional, social and mental skills improved as a result (Mills & Cohen 1979). The movement patterns embody important developmental tasks with which the infant is engaged in the process of developing a sense of self, a healthy psychological core (Hartley 2004: 95-137). For example, in utero movement which is organised around the umbilical centre enables the fetus to begin to develop a sense of coherence, of being a whole with separate parts that are nevertheless connected. Self-coherence is one of the invariants needed for the development of a sense of core self (Stern 1985: 82-9). In utero, and during and after birth, touch to the skin is also crucial to the development of self-coherence, the sense of being a unified and boundaried whole. Birth involves a monumental effort on the part of the infant and is a powerful act of agency, another of the invariants crucial to the development of a sense of core self (Stern 1985: 76-82). Then as the newborn begins to feed, she discriminates what is and is not desired, expressing her first ‘yes’ and ‘no’ as she turns towards or away from the breast in the rooting reflex. Through yielding weight into earth or mother she bonds, then gradually finds the pathway to separate through pushing herself up out of this supporting ground; she is laying the foundation for developing independence and interdependence, the sense of being a separate yet related self. Soon she is reaching out in desire, curiosity, play, or fear, and drawing in to grasp, embrace, incorporate into herself; she is now fully engaged in the world of relationship. The experience of these movements will be coloured by the infant’s sensations, emotions, and the responses of others; these tones will become embedded into the movement experience, giving each person their own idiosyncratic movement signature. As a child or adult going back to embody these early movements, memories and feelings related to the original experience may be evoked, and insights can emerge from consciously reinhabiting the moving body and the memories held within it. The process of movement development involves a powerful impulse outwards. From the confines of the womb there is a gradual emergence, unfolding, opening to ever wider and higher horizons, as first gravity, then space are mastered. There are many spiralling turns in and out, but the overall thrust is up and out. I am talking here about a healthy and unhindered development, and a birth that is natural, well-supported and free of unresolved trauma. When things go wrong we see the strong and passionate impulse of the infant and child to radiate and extend outwards become inhibited, restricted and fraught with fear or rage. This will manifest in blockages of energy within the body tissues and in restricted patterns of movement, perception and behaviour, as the natural cycle of sensory-perceptual-motor response is interrupted or inhibited in some way. As the child grows and other experiences become layered upon these powerful early imprints, they will be influenced by and may reinforce early patterns of disturbance that have not been resolved. |
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Embodying a Sense of Self |
